Whoop whoop! It’s almost moving time for me! In a week I will be busy getting my new mountain home in order! For the life of me, I cannot work until my house is completely cleaned and organized. I just can’t focus if it’s chaos! I have two different companies coming over to the mountain house at the end of next week to deep clean the shit out of everything. Mommy likey??
Sidenote: is it weird that cleanliness and organization turns?me on? If yes, then I’m only asking for a friend.??
My family had a cleaning company growing up and I swear it’s the reason why I’m OCD. I started cleaning doctor offices at 6 years old. At 12, I would clean homes with my parents (sometimes those homes belonged to my classmates which was incredibly humiliating to me at the time), by 14 I was cleaning bungalows and medical offices all by myself. At 16 I was living on my own, and whenever child protective services came over for an unexpected visit, they always found me cleaning or waxing the floors. Soooo yeah. My OCDness clearly comes from this upbringing. I’ve gotten better though. According to Mr.Connie (my husband), I have taken it down from extreme to somewhat more manageable levels.
Now, onto the topic at hand!
Emails and emails pour in daily about how certain goals aren’t coming to fruition, what to do when you want to manifest multiple things, you don’t know where to begin, how you’re freaking and stressing out, how much anxiety you have over your manifestations…
I’ll let you in on a secret…
I have ZERO goals for my life. ZERO.
There is not a damn thing that I care about manifesting…why? Because having specific goals turns me into an inpatient, control, manic manifesting freak! And I see this happening to people ALL.THE.TIME!
The ONLY thing that matters to me- is how I feel. And that’s the only thing that matters when it comes to manifesting.
Everything I’ve ever wanted in life, was because of how it was going to make me FEEL.
I wanted to be debt-free because that would make me feel responsible and like I’ve made it.
I wanted to be married because that would make me feel loved. Secure. Wanted.
I wanted to be an entrepreneur making 7-figures a year because that goal would make me feel successful and free.
I wanted to lose weight because that would make me feel beautiful. Worthy. Attractive. Good enough.
I wanted a beautiful new home because that would make me feel grounded. Established.
Everything I have ever wanted was because of how it would make me FEEL.
One day, I became so confused with all the manifesting techniques out there, what to do and when, how to get clear on my desires, what do I do when ANOTHER desire rises, and how do I stay focused when fears hit me, that it was TOO much! It was just too overwhelming and confusing!
So I prayed for guidance because I was so f-ing tired of everything. I was getting law of attraction burn out.
I received the intuitive guidance to GIVE UP.
When I “gave up” I stopped focusing on all the things I wanted to manifest, and instead, I focused on how I wanted to FEEL.
I stopped focusing on wanting to lose 10 pounds. I stopped focusing on wanting to attract a husband. I stopped focusing on wanting to manifest a dream house. I stopped focusing on wanting to have a 7-figure business.
The truth is, if we can feel now, how we will feel when we have our manifestations, then it won’t matter AT.ALL the “how & when”. It won’t matter how our life looks, how we got what we got, when it will get here…all that matters is how we FEEL. And if we can feel now how we will feel then, then we win! Patience is not required because we’re experiencing that feeling of our manifestation come true, right here and right now!
When we find ways to activate our core desired feeling(s), Universe begins to attract to us things that match that feeling. And so who cares if what you manifest doesn’t look 100% the way you wanted it to look? If it makes you FEEL the way you wanted to feel, who cares if the package is not what you expected?
My entire life and every single manifestation, has come as a result of how I feel.
I spend my days doing things that activate my core desired feeling (s) and not only does this bring me immense joy, peace, happiness, and freedom, but all sorts of awesome things manifest into my life.
When you give up and just focus on activating your desired feeling and not the “how” your manifestations must look like, Universe takes care of the rest. Plus, you don’t know better than Universe does. When we give up and let Universe take the lead, we get manifestations that are wayyyyy beyond our wildest dreams. When you try to control life and say that things have to manifest a certain way by a certain time, you diminish and close down all the other possibilities and awesomeness that life can deliver to you, that are much greater and grander than what you originally imagined.
Surrendering and giving up is not about being lazy or doing nothing. No. Surrendering is about relinquishing obsessive control. It’s about forgetting what you think you need and how things must look like in order to feel happy and fulfilled, and instead, letting Universe bring things to you that are for your highest good, even if they don’t look/seem/sound the way you think it should.
By surrendering to the Universe, you strengthen your relationship with it. Rather than focusing on certain accomplishments and goals, practice letting go. But Connie, I have certain visions for my life! Visions and desires are great to have, the key is to be able to surrender them to the Universe, and allow yourself to experience what is for your highest good. We always think of what we want and need. Letting go is to let the Universe decide what you truly need and what is best for you. You are a divine child of the Universe. It will ALWAYS have your back, just like a mother takes care of her child or a loved one.
My advice to you is to spend the remaining of this month, giving up. Surrender now. Let go. Say this prayer to yourself, “Life/God/Universe (whatever feels best to you) I give up. I give my life up to you. You can handle my life. I surrender to the flow of Life. Please guide me to the next right steps. At this moment I release control and the thinking that I know what’s best for my life, and instead, I open myself up to be led by you. Show me the way.”
Feel free to adapt that prayer to something that resonates more with you but the point is- this is how I manifest. I have given up the reins of my life to Universe and my only focus is to activate my core-desired feelings daily, and allow for Universe to attract to me whatever is for my highest good.
I don’t know what’s best for my life, but Universe does. And if what It brings into my life makes me feel how I desire to feel? Then I don’t give a crap if the manifestation doesn’t look the way I thought it should.
Like my friend, who wanted to manifest love. She wanted him to be 6 foot 3, (she’s 5′ 9 herself) make 7-figures a year and have gorgeous blond hair and blue eyes. When I helped her surrender the way her love had to look, and instead, guided her to focus on feeling love every day, she attracted her now husband. He’s NOT 6 ft 3. He’s 5 ft 7. He does NOT make 7-figures a year; he’s a teacher. He does not have surfer blonde hair and blue eyes; he’s latin with dark hair and brown eyes. And you know what? She’s the happiest she’s ever been, with their second baby on the way. How he looked didn’t matter. How he made her feel, that’s what mattered. She wanted to manifest passionate love that was faithful, committed, trustworthy and made her feel secure. When she gave that to herself first, by finding ways to activate those feelings every day, she attracted a man that embodied them.
Forget what you think you need, and just focus on how you want to feel every day, trust that the Universe is guiding you to what’s for your highest good, and go live your life! Live your life feeling now how you will feel then, and having complete faith and trust in the Universe.
A 4-Step Process For Surrendering Your Life For Epic Manifestations
1. Pray. Pray to your Higher Power to help and guide you in surrendering. Use my prayer above, or come up with one of your own. Every time you start to freak out and want to control things, instead of surrendering to the flow of Life and trusting everything is being taken care of, pray. Use prayer as a way to interrupt your controlling and obsessive thoughts and feelings, and re-center yourself.
2. Find out what your core-desire feeling(s) are, and activate them daily. Mine are freedom and joy. I activate them by doing things (or not doing things) that make me feel free and joyful. Going for hikes, only doing workouts that I like, visiting friends, working 3 days a week, checking my email once a day, reading in bed, etc. All of these things help to activate my core desired feelings of freedom and joy, and then Universe attracts to me MORE awesome things and experiences, that are joyful and freeing like free travel, first-class upgrades, last minute invites to parties, a new friend, increased book sales, etc.
3. Appreciate what’s going good in your life. Instead of focusing on goals and the outcomes you want, redirect your focus on what is already GOOD in your life. Every morning or evening, spend a few minutes writing 5 things that you appreciate about your life. When you find yourself going batshit crazy, in fear, or experiencing anxiety and stress, stop. Take a deep breath in, and start listing things you appreciate. You cannot feel these emotions AND appreciation at the same time. Appreciation will win. So use it to help move past those feelings. The more you do this, the more often you catch yourself going down the negativity and fear hole, and you stop yourself and start listing all you appreciate in your life, the less this will happen, and the less negativity will plague your life.
4. Stop judging every little thing that happens. When Mr.Connie lost his job of 6 years, he was devasted. He thought life was kicking him in the balls. In reality, this seemingly shitty thing was actually a SET-UP for something even better. He ended up getting a new job, a mere week later, that was a MILLION times better than his old one. Years ago, when the love of my life dumped me, I thought I was going to die from heartbreak. At the time, I thought it was the worst thing that could happen to me. What I didn’t know was that this breakup was actually leading me in a direction where I would end up meeting my now husband, of almost a decade. Mr.Connie is the most incredible life partner I could’ve asked for. What may seem like an obstacle or a detour, is actually a SET UP for your highest good. Stop judging things that happen as “bad”. You don’t know that. I completely believe that these things are actually steering us in the right direction. In a direction that is going to make you much happier than you imagine, but you just don’t see it right now. So stop judging things that happen in your life as “bad”. Stop labeling them that. Instead, approach it with curiosity and with faith. Instead of, “this fucking sucks! WHY GOD WHY??? Why does this have to happen to me?” Instead, try this, “hmm. Well, this is interesting. I wonder what awesomeness is going to come from this? I know the Universe is ALWAYS guiding me towards what’s best for me and is always taking care of me. I’m going to just focus on activating my core-desired feeling and letting Universe guide me towards the next step.” Trust the detour. It’s actually aligning you for something even better.
Remember, you’re only job is to figure out what your dominant, core desired feeling is, find ways to activate this feeling, and let Universe do its thing chicken wing! Let it steer you towards what’s best for you.
Dat’s it yo!
To being less of a control freak,
p.s A beautiful quote that goes perfectly with this post…
?Am I better off making up an alternate reality in my mind and then fighting with reality to make it be my way, or am I better off letting go of what I want and serving the same forces of reality that managed to create the entire perfection of the universe around me??
– Mickey A. Singer